Sunday, August 13, 2017

[PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT] How to control your thoughts


I know I have been missing in action from blogging for a good few months now. I felt like I really needed a break from everything to reset and re-calibrate my thoughts, my goals and my life in general. A lot of things have changed since my last post and I think I've given myself a long enough time to figure out myself and also for things to settle down.

I won't go into detail as I consider this very personal. But suffice to say, what I've gone through has changed me.

It challenged my beliefs and opened my eyes to the different types of people in this world. Right now, I'm so much more cautious and also the fact that I know people can judge you just because they're biased towards you is just incredibly ridiculous.

That's why it pisses me off now when people throw their judgement around. Not everyone is the same: Not everyone has the same appetite of risk, not everyone was brought up the same, we all meet different people in our lives, get exposed to different experiences in life. So how can you just judge someone based on face value?

I come from a pretty grounded and sheltered background where drama was kept at a minimal. But then as I grew up, I realised, there are A LOT of scary people around. We all reach a certain stage in life (some earlier, some later) when you're outside your parent's control and you start knowing other people who aren't under ANYBODY's control also. And then, these people pass nasty comments or do nasty stuff to you and they really have no idea how bad and harmful their actions can cause a person. It can literally causes anxiety and depression.

SO GUYS, don't simply go around judging people or making bad comments on someone you don't really know, because, come on, we don't want the same to happen to ourselves. So let's just respect each other okay?

Oh, and what I've been through the past couple of months, what goes around, eventually comes around. Because karma is a bij. A bad, bad bij.

ANYWAY, moving on.

I have been trying to control my mind in a more capable way because there has been periods of time where I'd get these constant, recurring, negative thoughts that come up. And I struggled to get rid of them. I get obsessed over this one bad thing that happened to me. SO..


It SUCKS losing control over my thoughts for a prolonged period of time. Guys, seriously, I know how certain events in life can have a NASTY effect on you. But I can't preach how important it is to GET OUT of that mindset. And start living again.

How to master your psychology.

Ok I am not a guru or whatever but because I've experienced getting in an emotional rut and have been actively trying to heal, I did my own study and I know a thing or 2 about this.

Primarily, there are 2 kinds of thoughts. AUTOMATIC and CONSCIOUS.

Automatic Thoughts

These are automatic, unconscious, immediate thought and impulses that come up from your body. So if you had challenges or fears in your past, it's your body's natural reaction to pull out those thoughts and say "Hey man, protect yourself. We're worried about this." But sometimes, those are not helpful thoughts. Its just the brain taking the easiest route we know.

And part of becoming more matured and enlightened is to take control of our system. Our ability to more directly work, control and create our own thoughts and not relying to the thoughts that come up to us.

Which brings me to the next one.

Conscious Thoughts

These are thoughts that we make consciously. We need a certain amount of willpower and effort to do so too. And the more willpower exercised, the easier it will be to override your automatic thoughts. So how do we train our conscious thoughts to build up a positive mind set?

Relative Weight Importance Duration

Anything becomes a habit through repetition that seals it at the back of our head. We can give positive thinking a lot of focus and repetition.

Take total control of your attention. Notice, where are your thoughts right now. Are they supporting me? Or are they coming up with negative, protective thoughts in my mind. Just start paying attention to your thoughts.

Re-direct it. What is the positive of that negative thought? Visualize and think about the positive outcome. Give it a sensation. Keep focusing on that. Give it attention, sensation, duration. When the mind comes up with that easy, negative thought, push it away. Re-direct your thoughts.

Attention, sensation, duration. Keep repeating. Focus, focus, focus. This will condition the mind. 

It's that repetitive attention to that positive alternative, to that negative impulse that comes up, that gives us personal power.

So the below are 5 suggested questions to gently pull your mind away from that negative state into a more positive one and start changing the course of your mind:
  1. Ask yourself 5 positive questions everyday, 3 times a day.
  2. What can I do to make the people I love happy right now? How can I surprise them right now?
  3. What can I do to have fun right now?
  4. How can I demonstrate love right now?
  5. What steps can I think of to create my ideal life right now? My fortune right now?
Also, come up with 3 words to describe your ideal self. Confident, charming, outstanding, over achiever, bubbly etc. Anything that you see yourself best as.

Take action and fake it till we make it. You can actually condition your thoughts by behaving in a positive way. Your actions conditions your mind just as much as a recurring thought recondition your mind.

I'll leave y'all with a quote by David Goggins himself -

"We forget how hard we really are. Suffering is the true test of life."