Monday, June 27, 2011

Change of course

The past week has been... unexpected.

Okay, I won't tell what has changed. So this post will be more of what I'm feeling about life right now.

The way things turned out to be, I would not have thought possible. I thought that the road given to me has been fixed (at least for the next 6-10 months). No matter whether I liked it or not, I thought I was doomed to be on that path. Because at that point (until a week ago), I could not see any alternative or way out.

But then life has a funny way of twisting and coming up with unexpected events and ideas in my life. Cut the long story short, I'm no longer following the path I used to take anymore.

When you think you're stuck in perpetual indecisiveness, when you feel you have no other choice to make, it's actually all in your mind. You're scared to make changes and to move away from that safety net, that wall of safe thoughts.

Well, that's how I would describe myself. And I've been thinking those thoughts (albeit with an uneasy feeling) for the past year.

I wouldn't say I was estatic with what I decided last time. I was more like "This is for my future and I believe this is the correct decision. It seems logical and practical. I just have to cotinue trudging forward" and I forgot to enjoy the now.

But there were many moments in my life that I desperately needed some form of guidance to show me the correct path because I had a gut feeling that what I'm doing now just isn't right. Maybe it's instinct maybe not.

But to change that decision, the stakes were high and I didn't have enough proof to trust my instincts yet. And I just didn't have enough courage.

It's hard to break old thought patterns.
I needed a jolt to slap me and break that dullard string of thoughts.

And that jolt, which presented itself in a string of events, finally took place several days ago.

So when something drastic shifts your mindset, you suddeny change the way you think. A whole new world of possibilities opened up to me. I'm having the zest in life again and am looking forward to each day now. This proved that my instincts were not wrong after all. *winks*

I may not be sure whether this is ultimately the correct decision (well, there's no real ultimate, but just saying), but I know that I've moved to something that feels much better and correct. I'm glad it happened :)

Life is grand. It's huge with infinite possibilities. Time is going to pass anyway, so I aim to make the best of it feeling great.

Life can be funny like that.

With the change of heart leading me to a new direction in life, this could turn out for the better or for worse.

Thursday, June 23, 2011

No more facebook

One more week till July. How time flies.

I spent a lot in June, considering I'm not working. My allowance for this month is *blank*. Can't tell ya XD.

Anyway, a rundown of my expenses this month:

Rebonding & hair products = RM200
Car license = RM75
Outings (pasar malam, yumcha, dates etc.) = RM50
Misc. (reload, groceries, petrol etc.) = RM75

Approximate total = RM400

The two big items that really took a big chunk of my allowance were rebonding and my car license.

But there's still so many things I wanna buy and do. Long shirts, skinny jeans, seamless tube bras, flats, cardigans, denim shorts etc. (is it christmas yet?).

I guess I'll have to wait for the year end since I'd prefer to buy them at KL and the earliest I'll be going there will be in December.

Moving on.

I deactivated my facebook account on the 16th of June because I felt I was spending way too much time on it mostly doing nothing but being a nosy parker.

I had a disgusting obssession of viewing other people's profiles like they were celebrities or something. And because my handphone was (and still is) in a free-wifi zone most of the time, I'd be checking my fb page every 30 minutes.

And after all that checking and browsing, I'd come out feeling dissatisfied, discontented and anything with a dis- infront about my life.

The words "get", "a", "life" come into mind.

But the primary reason is that STPM is slightly more than 4 months away. Maybe I'll get a new account after my exams, maybe I won't. Who cares?

So when I first tried deactivating my account, I found out that I can easily activate it again just by logging back in. Deactivation just meant my profile wouldn't appear in fb and friends wouldn't be able to view my profile. But once I logged back in, everything was the same as it was before. Friends list is still the same, past wall comments remain undeleted, photos unchanged.

I didn't want a temporary deactivation. So I searched around and found out that if you really wanted to delete your fb account for good, you'd have to deactivate your account and not touch it (by not touching it, I mean not logging in or anything - just don't go to near the damn site ok) for at least 14 days.

And once 14 days is up, your account should be permanently deleted. I'm not sure how true this is because I haven't reached 14 days yet. I'm only on the 7th day. i'll let y'all know once I reach day 15 or so.

One more thing, I'm gonna bling my phone for the first time next month! DIY style ^^

See ya!

Monday, June 13, 2011

Of bedtimes

Random pictures taken from a BBQ get together I attended last Saturday.

These are the pictures taken from my phone.

Taken by my friend's fancy DSLR:

Note the difference in quality. Sad :'(

I slept at 5am the night before and was up doing stuff non-stop from 11am till BBQ time. Needless to say, I was doggone tired during the BBQ. Most of my ex-form 5 classmates were there too, though I'm not very close to most of them.

But the host of the BBQ, Sylvia just came back from Texas (I'd love to stay in the U.S. someday) for her Summer break. So ya know, just thought I'd turn up and ask how things are going.

Anywayy... lately, my thoughts have been a real mess. Like this afternoon, I tried studying but it was soooo hard I tell ya. I just couldn't concentrate. Like the neurones in my brain just wouldn't connect no matter how hard I tried.

Maybe it's still the after effect of me sleeping at 5 am that day. Worst thing is I stayed up that late mindlessly browsing through pictures of DRESSES.

Cuz ever since I stumbled upon Hilary Duff's wedding pictures, I've been envisioning my own wedding and the dresses I'd be wearing too. With the rate that I'm day-dreaming, I think I'll go insane 5 years down the road.

Back to the topic. I need to reset my biological clock fast. Before that 5am bedtime, I've been consistently sleeping at about 12.30am and waking up at 8am the next day. Well, there were a few 2 am bedtimes, but that was ok.

Now I'm waking up at about 10 am eventhough I've started sleeping at 12.30 am again. But it's only 2 days after that night. After freshening up and having my breakfast, it'd be around 11.00++ am and the glaring, hot sun would be up.

I'd have missed the most effective period for studying: the cool, tranquil mornings. Night time study sessions, although much better than draggy afternoons are still not as good as the morning sessions.

Like now, I don't feel fully rested eventhough I think I've slept for 8 hours. I once read the body really reaps the benefit of a good sleep from 9 am to 4am.

I ain't gonna sleep at 9 am. That's way early. So I'm gonna start sleeping at 11.30pm until I feel fully rested again before undertaking another 12.30 am or 2 am bedtime (once in a while).

Time for my afternoon nap. Toodles!

Friday, June 10, 2011

Finally, a certified driver

Cadbury Gold CRAZE!!!

Dad both boxes of these expensive stuff a few days ago, now there's none left.

Anyways, happy news!

I now have P licenses for both car and motorcycle! Woohoo!

On Wednesday, I repeated my car test for Bahagian 2 (the hill, parking etc. part).

The first time I took my car test was last week. I had to wait super duper long for my turn. Got to the place at about 8.30am and waited until 2pm for my turn. And when I'm feeling anxious, nervous and very impatient, I get woozy... and drugged.

So anyway, my turn came and passed the hill (I hate that part the most, seriously). I was relieved after passing the hill and I got overconfident with my parallel parking. So much so until I lost my sense of left and right and totally screwed up the parallel parking. I did manage to get the car into the box after some desperate twists and turns. But the car was in such a weird angle after that, that I knocked one pole when coming out.

To say the least, I was horrified. It's so weird when you see the Kandas(Fail) box ticked on your result slip. And once I reached the place where you wait for the Bahagaian 3 (on the road test), I was bawling my eyes out shamelessly.

Passed my on the road test, got home and sobbed for another 2 hours. In addition to not getting my sought-after P license, my dad had to fork out another RM110 for me to repeat.

Anyway, I swore to myself to be extra, extra careful during the repeat test and after another nerve-wrecking wait before my turn on Wednesday, I delivered a flawless performance! Heehee..

I was all smiles after that =)

Finally! No more going to LSA Ipoh and waiting my butt off. No more nerve-wrecking tests. No more worrying about failing and then having to go through the whole damn process again. And and no more paying! The whole cost for both my car and motor came up to more than RM1000. Glad that I don't need to set aside money for my license fees anymore.

Now for my lunch. See ya!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Rebonded hair

Finally decided to take the plunge and rebonded my hair last Wednesday.

In the spur of the moment i just chose to go to a salon next to Rhythm, Sit Yen Unisex Salon, because... well, just because.

Actually, I'm not really a fan of stick straight hair. But neither am I a fan of frizzy, unruly hair (a.k.a. my natural hair).

I've been thinking of getting big, loose curls for my hair but thought otherwise because curly hair will only look really good if I have hair that's at least until my breast bone.

Anyway, I requested for treatment + rebond and the stylist was like "you can only do hair treatment after waiting at least a week after you rebond."

Okaayyy... seriously, never heard of that before. As far as I know, I've many friends who do both the treatment and rebond at the same time.

I was feeling lazy to check out other salons so I just settled for that salon. Oh well, at least I didn't need to spend extra, considering the price of rebonding alone is already RM160.

So the whole process took 3 hours++ and my was f***ing straight after that. My hair was like a piece of shiny black plastic draped over my head. My face never looked that oblong before. One of my friend said that during the period before my first hair wash, my hair is bound to look like that. So I guess.. yeah.

I was told not to wash my hair for 3 days and not to tie it for a whole week(??). The first day, my hair was really straight, flat and just smelt of chemicals. The smell lingered in my hair for 2 whole days.

By the 2nd day (excluding the day I rebonded my hair), I was like "to hell with her advice" and I went for a jog with my hair TIED.

Anyway, my verdict for that particular salon is 3 stars out of 5. Because I can't say that my hair is glossy and unnaturally straight. I mean, I couldn't get a treatment done! Boo! I met my friend for a drink a few hours after I rebonded and she asked me whether I did SOFT rebonding.

That's a type of rebonding technique that isn't as harsh as normal rebonding. Soft rebonding gives the hair a naturally straight look, unlike the unnaturally straightness of normal rebonding.

But I didn't ask for soft rebonding! And after the first wash, my hair looks uncannily like my natural hair, only straighter with much less frizz but not like the rebonded straight.

Okayy... and that's only like the 4th day after I rebonded my hair. WTF man. How the hell is my straight hair gonna last until the end of the year if it ain't even gonna last like... a week??

That's evidence that the salon didn't do a good job of really, really straightening out my hair. And I lack that supernatural glossiness because they couldn't (OR WOULDN'T) do hair treatment for me T___T

If I were to rebond my hair again, I doubt I'll go back to that salon again.

Anyway, overall, I still like the way my hair turned out... after I washed my hair. Maybe it's good that my hair turned like I got soft rebonding instead of normal rebonding. So I don't end up with extremely stick straight hair.

Only thing I'm dissatisfied is the price I paid. The price was the price to rebond but the effect wasn't exactly the effect of a good rebonding treatment. Oh well, splurge once in a while lah. For experience.

It's soft to the touch, not extremely straight but straight enough (the straightest hair I ever had in the 19++ years of my existence) and looks silky. So, I have to really start pampering my crown of glory now.

Past few days have been hot, hot, hot so I wasn't in the mood to camwhore my newly rebonded hair. Personally it doesn't look like I rebonded my hair. Looks more like my hair is softened and smoother and... more civil. Ok, skip it if you don't get it.

OK, bye.