Monday, June 27, 2011

Change of course

The past week has been... unexpected.

Okay, I won't tell what has changed. So this post will be more of what I'm feeling about life right now.

The way things turned out to be, I would not have thought possible. I thought that the road given to me has been fixed (at least for the next 6-10 months). No matter whether I liked it or not, I thought I was doomed to be on that path. Because at that point (until a week ago), I could not see any alternative or way out.

But then life has a funny way of twisting and coming up with unexpected events and ideas in my life. Cut the long story short, I'm no longer following the path I used to take anymore.

When you think you're stuck in perpetual indecisiveness, when you feel you have no other choice to make, it's actually all in your mind. You're scared to make changes and to move away from that safety net, that wall of safe thoughts.

Well, that's how I would describe myself. And I've been thinking those thoughts (albeit with an uneasy feeling) for the past year.

I wouldn't say I was estatic with what I decided last time. I was more like "This is for my future and I believe this is the correct decision. It seems logical and practical. I just have to cotinue trudging forward" and I forgot to enjoy the now.

But there were many moments in my life that I desperately needed some form of guidance to show me the correct path because I had a gut feeling that what I'm doing now just isn't right. Maybe it's instinct maybe not.

But to change that decision, the stakes were high and I didn't have enough proof to trust my instincts yet. And I just didn't have enough courage.

It's hard to break old thought patterns.
I needed a jolt to slap me and break that dullard string of thoughts.

And that jolt, which presented itself in a string of events, finally took place several days ago.

So when something drastic shifts your mindset, you suddeny change the way you think. A whole new world of possibilities opened up to me. I'm having the zest in life again and am looking forward to each day now. This proved that my instincts were not wrong after all. *winks*

I may not be sure whether this is ultimately the correct decision (well, there's no real ultimate, but just saying), but I know that I've moved to something that feels much better and correct. I'm glad it happened :)

Life is grand. It's huge with infinite possibilities. Time is going to pass anyway, so I aim to make the best of it feeling great.

Life can be funny like that.

With the change of heart leading me to a new direction in life, this could turn out for the better or for worse.

2 comments :

  1. Amazing post, looks like you just made a life changing decision.

    I'm certainly looking forward to what you can accomplish with your newly found passion.

    May the new force be with you!

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  2. Thanks! I'll be writing about it once I really get some momentum going :)

    ReplyDelete