Monday, May 2, 2011

Over and over

During my form 1 till form 3 period, I was always very motivated to study. And a few months before a major exam, I'd seriously be studying my butt off easily half the day buried in books.

Studying dilligently just came naturally to me during that time. I didn't have tuition, my parents didn't nag me. It was all me. I enjoyed studying.

But once I shifted to Kampar, a whole new world opened to me. Parents started giving me lots of freedom (I guess that comes with age) and I started hanging out with friends more.

Suddenly studying gave me the impression of being nerdy. Well, you could say I was a geek in KL.

And unlike KL where you have to beg your parents to chaperone you to where ever you wanna go, Kampar is such a small town, I can practically hang out anywhere for the whole day without making my parents worry.

Aaah... new found freedom eh? Who wouldn't want that?

But everything comes with a price, no?

I started falling... falling... falling... being very dramatic here.

Distractions were everywhere. First was the freedom to go gallavanting where ever I wanted to around the town. Then were the too frequent and often unnecessary outings to Ipoh. Cafes, make up, shoes. The list goes on and on and on.

I even had a partner in crime, Angel. She and I would just spend the whole day hanging out. She's still one of my best friends to this very day.

Then came the boy and all the emotions. Then came endless dates and many firsts which left me feeling giddy for weeks (ok, not weeks. Just exaggerating).

Then came my parents finding out the truth and me getting busted big time (lol. at the end of it, it was hilarious).

So what I'm trying to say here is:


Ok. Um... but as I was saying, everything comes with a price.

God gave me all these really wonderful gifts and I abused them.

I didn't have any control over my freedom and I couldn't strike the balance between work and play in time.

And I flunked my STPM a.k.a. the gateway to University - to a whole new life.

To say the least, I was devastated. I officially have a certificate of stupidity from the government.

So I decided to re-sit (as y'all know).

I guess this is life telling me that if I can't control myself at my homebase, I won't be able to control myself once I'm outta here.

You know when I was young, I was jealous of my friends who were able to hang out with their other friends when ever they wanted to. Karaoke, movies, bowling etc.

But now I've kinda experienced that and I'm satisfied.

Now I'm not saying I wanna be a recluse. I still wanna have fun. But I'm gonna tone it down this year. Tone it WAAAYYYYY down.

Because the joy of acing all my subjects beats having a year of (brainless) fun.

After I redeem my results, the brainless fun can begin again.

For now, I wanna go back to being the geek I was.


  1. Why pick just one when you can have both?

    Like what you already said, you just need to balance between work and play.

    Like me, I usually have my PS3 marathon sessions with friends online after hitting my study quota for the week.

    You can study like a geek during weekdays and go hang out with friends during weekends just like any normal high school students.

  2. Yeah. I guess I got to manage my time properly and study when it's time to study. Discipline!! Thanks btw =)